Remember the good ol’ days when hypnotists were fringe villains in pulp comics and B-movies? All you needed was a tuxedo with tails, a highly-waxed pointy beard, and a watch. Sure, a lot of the time it was a pocket watch, but you could use a watch like this Invicta Men’s Corduba Collection Oversized Chronograph Watch.

Trust us, we’ve done the numbers. If it had to be a pocket watch, then any shiny object at the end of a chain would do. And we haven’t been able to hypnotize ANYBODY with these half dollars on a rope. It’s got to be the watch hands, and this thing’s 52mm diameter case means they’ll be able to see them pretty clearly. Like, from across the room.

So don’t think of it as just a watch; think of it as a personal slave generator, a device to convince people they are chickens every time a bell rings, and of course, and your ticket to all the beautiful women you can lure to your study or backstage at your hypnotism performance to captivate with your wrist jewelry.

Oh, and if you can figure out whatever the magic words are, email us. Please.